Love. Blessings. Gratitude.: Enjoy the Moment

I've always been the big picture person in my relationship with Ryan. I'm always thinking five steps ahead, planning, budgeting, making sure that all of the important and essential items fall into place the way I want them to. I initiated the move to Dallas from College Station, I planned so much of the wedding, I spent hours on end wading through job postings for me and Ryan when we moved, I looked at hundreds of listings before deciding on which house we would buy, etc.

I'm really not good at the day to day details. I've become slightly better at housework, errands, and other such day to day items in large part because of Ryan. A few times Ryan half-jokingly would ask me if I thought that things got done around the house by magic and, honestly, some days it felt that way when we first got together. Fresh towels were hung, there were groceries in the fridge, dishes were clean and I had played no part in making those things happen.

That division of labor and priorities extends in to our relationships and it most certainly affects the way we interact with Alessandra.

I'm always more concerned with preparing her for some large future as a very successful grown woman but it takes a great deal of organization, effort and focus for me to prepare for the next day. I'm the type of mom who's baby hits developmental milestones ahead of schedule because I have an overarching desire to push Alessandra towards new goals - and I'm also the type of mom that takes Alessandra to see Santa and has to carry her all over the mall because I forgot the stroller. It comes naturally for me to decide regular and overarching things like "we will do tummy time each day" and "all naps will be limited to 1.5 hours" but when I spontaneously decide to visit my sister, her husband has to come back from his grocery trip with diapers because I showed up with a baby and no diapers.

Routine is wonderful for me. I live for big goals. I love milestones. I delight in making big decisions.

I am so thankful that Ryan can see the nearer future and take care of - or remind me to take care of - the day to day things. I especially love that his focus on the present makes him such a blessing to Alessandra. When he's with her, he can really be in the moment. He can drop everything, lose sight of any big picture, and just enjoy the moment with her.

I know that Alessandra feels the difference. I'm often pushing her out of her comfort zone so her new skills don't stagnate. I developed and continually enforce her schedule. Some days its just hard for me to let my baby be a baby. I love that when Alessandra is with Ryan, she knows the pressure is off. I'm not by any means saying that he departs from the schedule, or that he doesn't also encourage her to learn and grow. She accomplishes so much while she is in his care. He very much respects my ideas and goals and backs me 100% on my parenting choices. The thing is, he can look at her and not think at all about the goals. He can focus on making her smile in that moment without wondering how this moment contributes to the big picture. She delights in his company. They have a very special bond. Her face absolutely lights up when he comes around. When she hears his voice, she starts searching the room for him. Her daddy is one of her great joys in life.

I love that I can witness their relationship. I love that Alessandra shares that connection with Ryan. I love how much they can relax and just be joyful with each other. And I love that their relationship is a constant reminder to me to relax and to not be so dead set on the big picture that I lose sight of the value of each precious little moment.

I know it drives Ryan crazy that I'm always taking pictures of their interactions but I'm sure he will thank me for it some day :-P

Making faces at each other: