There is so much I want to teach Alessandra. There is so much I want to shelter her from in the world. The world is both so full of vice and so full of Goodness that some days the one makes me teary eyed and some days its the other.
When Ryan and I were in parenting classes we were asked what values or virtues we would want to pass on to our children. I immediately thought about "our" work ethic. Salvadorans are a hard-working bunch. I was raised to believe in a sense of duty and I come from a culture which has succeeded so well in America largely because of our incredible work ethic. I know many family members who have jobs that would earn them big bucks in this country but they don't earn nearly as much in the Motherland in that job. Why do they do those difficult jobs? They do it for reasons other than financial reasons.
I feel like my perspective has broadened so much in just the 6-9 months since we took that parenting class. Yes, I absolutely want to teach Alessandra to have a good work ethic. I have a law degree, one of my sisters has a masters degree, another sister just completed 18 hours worth of coursework while working full time as a teacher and raising twin sons. Aside from the credentials on paper, I could go on and on about my sisters' influence and successes. There is no doubt that a contagious work ethic is passed down from generation to generation among Salvadorans. But WHY does that matter? What should we work so hard for? Why should we devote ourselves so fully to these types of accomplishments?
The simple answer is others.
I feel a duty to be my best - to do my best - to always strive for excellence - for the benefit of others. Excellence in and of itself can and usually is a good - but excellence for the sake of others is a greater good.
I want Alessandra to care for others. I want her to look beyond the end of her nose. I'm not raising "my little princess". I'm raising someone hoping that she improves the lives of at least a few and possible many others. I continuously pray that I'm able to be the best mother possible for her. Why? I want to maximize her potential. I want to plant seeds of kindness and compassion. I want to show her that everyone is valuable, that everyone should have rights, that we ought to treat people equally.
I realize that not everyone agrees with my perspective. I went to a Baptist university for my undergraduate degree and a Catholic school for my law degree and I know that some of my thoughts are unpopular or unconventional. But the God that I'm acquainted with is a God of love. He is a God of forgiveness. He is the God that I will never deserve anything from. He is also the God that loves me despite my flaws, despite my imperfections, despite my sins, my shortcomings, my impatience, my state of being *only human*. I have such a beautiful life that I am moved to connect with Him every time I slow down and think about my blessings.
I don't believe that teaching Alessandra that a good work ethic in and of itself is the most valuable thing. My response when asked what virtues or values I want to pass on to her has shifted slightly since then. I want her to be moved to action because of that love for her fellow man. I don't want her to work hard for the sake of working hard. I want her to love her fellow man. I don't want her to belittle, manipulate, take advantage of, or in any way harm other people. I want her to be a blessing to them. I hope they can look at her and know that being in her presence means being in a place of care and compassion and not being in a place of judgment or resentment.
I thank God for the opportunity to be a mother. I grow as a person so much just by having Alessandra in my life. Yes, she's *just* a baby now - with all the accompanying lack of sleep, drool, spit up, diapers, etc. But being a baby is just a temporary thing. She will grow up into a toddler, an adolescent, an adult. My focus isn't on being a good mother to a baby - it's on being a good mother to a person that will have the inevitable ability to affect the lives of others. I want her to transition through the phases of life with the most positive effect possible.
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