Well, on a rough night bottle time is interrupted by diaper changing, reading includes Alessandra being so noisy that she barely hears a word I say, snuggling is much more like wrestling an alligator with sharp little claws, and crib time involves so much foot stomping that we back up to part 2) all over again.
Going though this routine tonight was a bit rough but it got me thinking. It's never the difficulties in the routine that bother me. It's the pressure I feel to complete the routine so I can get back to the thousand other things I need to do that bothers me. If I quit trying to finish the routine and get to the next thing - if I just embrace the fact that the routine will take more TIME than usual, I can fully accept & not be stressed out by the extra time and effort that a "rough" night entails. I'm going to work on that.
But oh those easy nights...
On an easy night, bottle time goes quickly. She holds my fingers in her little hands, she looks at me with those big sweet eyes, we just get to enjoy each other's company in silence as we wind down from the day.
On an easy night, Alessandra looks at me with excitement and a smiling eager face while I read to her about Jesus and tell her about God's love.
On an easy night, I feel absolute bliss as my perfect healthy and wonderful child drifts off to sleep in my arms.
Forget step four - I don't want to put her in her crib. I want to just hold her a little longer. A little warmer. A little more peacefully. I want to linger in the little but complete world of bliss that my sleeping baby takes me to.
My perfect little lady sleeping peacefully in my arms during a nap:
Sometimes I lay down completely exhausted after a long day but I can't help but spend a few minutes just watching her sleep so sweetly through the baby monitor.
I don't know that there is anything more calming in my world than looking at this adorable little sleeping face.
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