The Best Thing

Obviously I am absolutely smitten with Alessandra.  She is so precious to me.  So much of what she does is SO CUTE.  When I'm not busy cleaning her bottles, changing her clothes, or completing some other necessary to-do, I enjoy her smile, her little voice, how she looks at me with those big eyes.  It is absolute bliss to cuddle with her as we enjoy each other's warmth & doze off.  I feel so proud when I see her learn to do something new.

I just really enjoy her company.  She is the best part of my day, of my life, the greatest gift God has given me.

But I haven't forgotten the rest of my life.

She is not everything to me.  I also have my other interests.  I have other important people in my life.  Other people and things bring me joy, excitement, amusement.

I don't want to give up my job any time soon.  I enjoy what I do for a living and I want to continue to do it - even though it takes me away from Alessandra!

I look forward to opportunities to spend time with Ryan.  As much as I adore my Alessandra, I adore my Ryan too and I need opportunities to talk to him, joke with him, flirt with him.  

I already filed vacation letters with the Court and I'm planning to travel and sight see in at least two other cities in 2015.  I want to continue to explore the world.

The fact that I earned the very important title of mommy doesn't require that I give up my intellectual life, my role as a wife, my sense of adventure.  I was a whole person before Alessandra and I am a whole person now.  She comes before everything else and I will always make whatever sacrifices I need to make to see her succeed - without a second thought.  But being a good mom does not require that I give up every other part of my identity.  I honestly believe that she will benefit from having a mom who has her own sense of identity, apart from just seeing herself as mommy.

Not everyone gets to be a mommy.  I don't take it for granted.  I pray so much more now that Alessandra is here - I have a reason to be thankful a thousand times a day and I have someone to focus prayerful love on a thousand times a day.  She matters so much to me.  She brings me incredible joy, worry, strength.  What happens to her affects me to my very core.  But I need to be a whole, balanced, healthy person.  I choose to be that.

Mama ready for work and Alessandra ready to go to Grandma Gosewehr's house:

That's right.  Ryan & I went out to dinner on our anniversary & left Alessandra with Hernandez Grandparents - even though she was only 6 weeks old!

Holding Alessandra while Daddy makes her laugh:

My precious Baby Bear.