My Loves

I honestly think Ryan & I are doing a good job at being parents.  I'm always striving to improve.  Every night I pray to God to help me be a better mother.  I listen to the parenting advice that I receive from others.  I read articles about what's good for baby.  I see Alessandra healthy, happy, and am reassured that we're doing a good job.

How's my marriage?

We are both so in love with - and so devoted to - this wonderful little lady that we share a home with.  Some days we don't look out enough for ourselves and we don't look out enough for our marriage.  She has what she needs from us and so much more beyond just that.

This week has been a period of growth for our marriage.  We've been set on taking control and ownership of our relationship and making an active effort to keep ensure that this great thing remains great.

We're best friends.  We've been through thick and thin.  He's always been there when it mattered.  I get the joy of seeing him be an amazing father.  Sometimes, we just don't pay enough attention to each other.  We know we have people around who would love to spend more time with Alessandra but, instead of calling them up so we can spend time together, we usually maximize our time with her.  This week has started a re-orienting of our focus back towards what we need from and enjoy about each other.

The crazy thing about this renewed commitment to our friendship, our love, our happiness, is that its been so refreshing and rejuvenating.  Part of me felt lazy about the whole thing and thought, oh great, another thing to put time and energy into.  It's not so.  Having another person to be joyful about, having another person's love and affection, knowing that someone else looks forward to enjoying your company, your conversation, sharing your interests - its exciting, its fun, it adds to what you have.  It doesn't feel like sacrifice or effort.  It feels natural.

There is this amazing man in my life.  We can walk hand in hand looking out into a bright future.  We can set our minds daily on creating something beautiful for ourselves and each other.  We have responsibilities.  We have duties.  We are so in love and committed to our little one.  She deserves our happiness.  She needs to be raised in a home with parents who know each other, feel close to each other, enjoy each other.  We're not two ships passing in the night.  We've promised each other forever.  We've made something that is half me and half him.  We have to remember to rest, to have shared experiences, to not forget the love that led us to this wonderful place to begin with.