Changes Made!

It has been about two weeks since my last blog post and so many positive things have happened and/or are in the works!

Cooking- Ryan is responsible for grocery shopping and he brought home very simple ingredients so that I could start cooking again.  Our meals were nothing fancy - simple salmon, chicken, and ham recipes - but it was really nice not to be eating fast food and not having to have the dreaded "what's for dinner tonight" conversation at 5pm as I wrapped up 10 tasks at work.

Exercise- Lately, I sometimes go an entire week without exercise :-(  I never thought I'd have a sedentary lifestyle and it makes me so frustrated when I realize I've gone several consecutive days without exercise. This week I managed to get two workouts in and I'm hoping to get at least one more in this weekend.  My sisters send me updates when they go to the gym/bootcamp/etc. and it really helps keep me motivated and dedicated.

Marriage- Hubby and I haven't had much more time together BUT we've made future plans for time together.  Every year Ryan goes to a banquet around this time of the year for work.  We always stay at the hotel where the banquet is held and make a little stay-cation out of it.  This year, we're going to go and it will be my first overnight trip without Alessandra!  I'm anxious about it and I'm sure I'll annoy my parents when I text to check in on her - but goshdarnit - Ryan & I will have some time together!

Pre-baby friends- I somehow managed to keep my work laptop shut for about 72 hours and went to San Antonio for the weekend.  This was so good for my soul.  I managed to have lunch and a nice outdoor walk with my law school friend Liz, my friend Trent met up with us for lunch and showed up bearing gifts for Alessandra, I saw several people from College Station throughout the weekend, and I was able to share tapas and a meal at an old college hangout with Sarmar.

Prior hobbies/interests- well, I didn't quite get to this...but it's only been two weeks since I decided I needed to turn things around!

Overall I feel really good about my progress in feeling in control of my life again.  I don't want to be a one-dimensional person with a singular purpose. I need to be a multi-dimensional person with a rich full life and I am starting to feel that way again.

At dinner with College Stations friends and Sarmar.  Alessandra was being cuddly with Daddy:

Alessandra is doing a great job of sitting up on her own.  She has very good posture too!  Here she is watching all the geeks walk to and from PAX South from our Hotel window.

Tapas with Sarmar:

Lunch with Liz at Mi Tierra.  There was gorgeous weather that day!

Another nice day! Walking to Buckhorn Saloon to meet Ryan's childhood friend Laura as well as my friend Trent-

Changes

I told myself that several things would not change when Alessandra arrived.  I wouldn't be one of those moms that didn't work out, that didn't cook meals, that didn't make time for her marriage, that lost touch with pre-baby friends, that lost interest in prior hobbies/interests, etc....but those things have really crept up on me over the last 5 months.  The really crazy thing - its NOT because of Alessandra.

My job demands have increased significantly for various reasons including the departure of the firm's most tenured attorney. I've slowly let things slip and I've just started the process of taking back all of those important pieces of my life.  I've made it a priority each day to set aside as much time as possible for Alessandra and, frankly, her demands don't allow me to lose sight or her importance in my life.  The other things in life are so much more voluntary and optional - they don't cry if I don't tend to them - so, if these things are really important to me, it's up to me to make sure that they continue to have a place in my life.

For now, here's the positive things that have been going on with Alessandra.  By next post, I hope to be reporting on all the other positive things going on in life!

Playing with her giraffe:

Alessandra sleeps through the night.  This is a big one! Most nights she sleeps from sometime before 9pm (8:30ish) until 7:30am.  This is PERFECT - it allows me to feed her, spend a little time with her in the evenings working on sills, and bathe her (on bath days) without having to keep her up.  She falls asleep late enough that I've enjoyed time with her, but early enough that I can at least rest or (more likely) take on other tasks for an hour or two before bed.  Once Alessandra wakes up I'm typically fully ready for work (showered, breakfast eaten, packed up) and I can give her my undivided attention until she is dropped off at Grandma's house.  I love mornings with her.  She is usually so cheerful and sweet in the morning.  Every now and then she wakes in the night but handling one or two days per week of interrupted sleep is much easier than regularly trying to function on interrupted sleep.  If she wakes a little early, Ryan steps in and watches her so I can finish getting ready for the day.

Alessandra has the smiliest little face.  Obviously Alessandra can't talk so it really helps me feel like she is doing well and enjoying her life when I so frequently see a big smile on that precious little face.  She always greets Daddy with a big squinty-eyed smile and she usually smiles when spoken to.  The smiles are big and they come easy.  I love it.

Laughter!  Alessandra finally laughs!  At first it was a very short chuckle but now we're getting longer giggles. She seems a little ticklish and cracks up at silly sounds and faces.  Sometimes the things she laughs about make sense and sometimes I wonder what in the world she found so funny.  No matter what, I love hearing her laughter.

Cruising.  Every time Alessandra's feet touch the ground, she immediately tries to walk.  We will guide her in different directions and she even takes sideways and backwards steps.  She is the cutest little moon-walker! Sometimes Ryan will lay down and stand her up on his tummy and she immediately starts trying to walk up his torso towards his head.  It's amazing how automatic that instinct is.  So far the closest she has been to walking is taking little steps while holding onto the side of her crib and holding on to the side of a bed.  I'm too afraid to just let go and see what happens but she mostly holds herself up with her own strength.  I'm going to be chasing her around the house in no time.

Rolling.  Alessandra has been rolling from front to back since she was a tiny baby but she just recently started rolling from back to front.  She did it once, seemingly on accident while trying to escape mommy's grasp, and has since delighted in rolling over repeatedly.  Grandma worked with Alessandra on rolling for some time and all that practice has finally paid off.  The first few times Alessandra rolled back to front, she was reaching for a toy or trying to see something over her head but now she rolls repeatedly and for no apparent reason. I think she is just enjoying the new mobility.

Alessandra rolling around:

Out for a walk on a cold day (low 50s) and out for a walk on a warm sunny day (upper 60s):

My Baby Bear is such a joy right now.  Other demands are keeping me pretty exhausted and stressed but my little lady has really adapted to a routine and has become so much easier to take care of.  I look forward to time with her.  I need to get a little more control over the other things at life but its tough with so much on my plate right now.  I'm taking steps in the right direction so hopefully things will improve soon.

Sleeping Baby

Our evenings aren't always the same.  My goal for the bedtime routines is 1) bottle 2) reading - currently the Bible - alternating between English & Spanish 3) snuggling/pacifier time 4) crib.

Well, on a rough night bottle time is interrupted by diaper changing, reading includes Alessandra being so noisy that she barely hears a word I say, snuggling is much more like wrestling an alligator with sharp little claws, and crib time involves so much foot stomping that we back up to part 2) all over again.

Going though this routine tonight was a bit rough but it got me thinking.  It's never the difficulties in the routine that bother me.  It's the pressure I feel to complete the routine so I can get back to the thousand other things I need to do that bothers me.  If I quit trying to finish the routine and get to the next thing - if I just embrace the fact that the routine will take more TIME than usual, I can fully accept & not be stressed out by the extra time and effort that a "rough" night entails.  I'm going to work on that.

But oh those easy nights...

On an easy night, bottle time goes quickly.  She holds my fingers in her little hands, she looks at me with those big sweet eyes, we just get to enjoy each other's company in silence as we wind down from the day.
On an easy night, Alessandra looks at me with excitement and a smiling eager face while I read to her about Jesus and tell her about God's love.
On an easy night, I feel absolute bliss as my perfect healthy and wonderful child drifts off to sleep in my arms.
Forget step four - I don't want to put her in her crib.  I want to just hold her a little longer.  A little warmer. A little more peacefully.  I want to linger in the little but complete world of bliss that my sleeping baby takes me to.

My perfect little lady sleeping peacefully in my arms during a nap:

Sometimes I lay down completely exhausted after a long day but I can't help but spend a few minutes just watching her sleep so sweetly through the baby monitor.

I don't know that there is anything more calming in my world than looking at this adorable little sleeping face.