Women

For some time now, I've been involved in various groups tied to the legal profession. However, I recently joined a "girl attorney" group (their words not mine).

Ready? Here's my rant:

I don't consider myself a "girl".
I love that there is a word for senorita and a word for senora, a Ms. and a Mrs, a miss and a ma'am. I am a grown person and a far cry from the young girl I once was.  I am a WOMAN. I embrace it.


The struggle is real.
* Yes, I too struggle with working-mom-guilt. Yes I wish I had more time for my child.
* Yes, I too struggle with self-consciousness about my appearance. I get the "what is your make-up routine" posts and the "what should I wear on non-court dates at the office" questions.
* Yes, I too deal with men from archaic times who don't understand how a being with a womb could possibly be a lawyer and not a legal assistant.  I've been asked if I'm a legal assistant, a court reporter, an interpreter (I'm a latina after all), and a criminal defendant.

But what do we DO about it? What do we MAKE of the circumstances?  How do we stand up AGAINST and TO this presumption that we're "just girls"?

I remember being a bright-eyed and bushy-tailed 2L.  I managed to get awesome summer jobs during law school.  I'd walk in on the first day of employment, eager as could be, and the other attorneys in the profession would ridicule, envy, and spite me.

In so many ways, I now know better.  I know that judges with bias exist.  I know that unreasonable juries are a reality.  I know that great cases can be destroyed with clients with public speaking deficits.  I'm in tune with the complexities and realities of litigation, but, Lord help me, I will never lose the fire in my belly and the sparkle in my eyes.

I know that, come what may, no matter the challenges, no matter the nay-sayers, the envious, the spiteful, or the ignorant, I will give my best.  Win or lose, I chose the role I play.  I have control and ownership over my role and that can never be taken from me.  My clients can trust me to be what I've sworn to be - their zealous advocate.

Gender neutral.
Whose advocate? Male/female doesn't matter.
Who is the advocate? Male/female doesn't matter.
Zealous advocate.

I am but one person.  I cannot change the hearts of man. I cannot make the world just.  I cannot stomp out evil simply by willing it.

I can give my best. I can deliver on my commitments.  I can prepare.  I can pray to the infinite Being to be my Path, my Guide, my Wisdom, and my Heart.

I can show up, look sharp, and not back down - just as I promised myself in the bright-eyed and bushy-tailed days a decade ago.