There's a general way that I handle things in my life that I care about. I take a certain approach to work, major purchases, big life decisions, etc. So far this multi-step level of attention to the task at hand has produced great results. I've now survived a few major purchases, big plans (wedding/travel/relocation), and met pretty good success in work by following my methodology.
Is this way of approaching things enough to make a good mom?
The answer appears to be no.
I used the same approach I've always used when it came to becoming a mommy. I researched, asked others' opinions, weighed my options, and put up good sums of money making sure we had the best of everything as Alessandra came into the world. I chose a great doctor, a great hospital, went to birth classes, went to parenting classes, selected the best pack & play, carseat, and bottles. I wouldn't say that time and attention was wasted, but how has it enhanced Alessandra's bond with me? How does it affect her perception and memory of mommy?
Alessandra doesn't know what went in to selecting her crib, how many music classes I researched before I chose one, or the hours I've spent in stores reading over labels to make sure everything is non-GMO, gluten-free, and organic.
What part of my parenting is Alessandra aware of?
I want Alessandra to have memories with me. I want her to see my smile, to remember my laughter, to recall good times with me. I want her to be able to flip through volumes of photos capturing our shared experiences. I want her to pick up my mannerisms. I want to hear people tell her that she's just like her momma. I want her to miss me when she goes to college (maybe not every day, but often enough).
I can't create the bond that I want to have with Alessandra just by getting her the best of everything. I can't leave the imprint I want to leave on her life just by making good choices for her. In order to create the best bond with Alessandra, I need to be present in her life and show her my love in ways that she understands.
She is my heart. I want her to know it.
It doesn't get much better than this:
Playing on the mats before music class:
Hanging out at the park with extended family:
Playing with mega-blocks:
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