A Week of Bliss

I took the entire week of Thanksgiving off from work to spend time with my family!!  I ran into some issues that kept the week from being as I had envisioned - some family members got sick, I had to do some catch up work from home due to last week's computer crash, and other life stuff got thrown my way.

Even though the week didn't go as planned in my mind, it went exceedingly well!!

The weather was glorious for most of the week so I got a good bit of exercise in.  During our walks, Alessandra either seemed playful or slept in her stroller.

Here's Alessandra looking down while riding in her stroller.  She was wearing her penguin knit cap from grandma Gosewehr.

More stroller time - she sticks her lips out often - usually with suckling movements.  It looks like she's making a kissy face!

I got more cuddle time and naps in with Alessandra than I'm used to.  It was so nice to just have time to slow down and enjoy our moments together.  I'm so often in a rush to get things done - dishes, bath, pumping, work, etc. - it was so wonderful to just take in each moment without worrying about what I had to do next.

We took some selfies to send to Daddy while he was at work.

Instead of just the enrichment hour that I usually strive for with Alessandra, I spent multiple hours per day working on her skills.  We worked on everything from vocabulary in different languages, to sitting up, rolling front to back, rolling back to front, and even standing and taking steps with assistance. Alessandra is such a determined little lady so it is always fun to see how much she learns and how much she pushes herself during our skill sessions.  Sharing these sessions with Ryan over the weekend was an absolute joy.  I love how his face lights up when he sees her do new things. I love how Alessandra always looks for him and smiles at him upon seeing his face.

Alessandra is working on learning to crawl.

She didn't mind sitting while she played with her giraffe.

But then she seemed unsure about the whole thing.

Rolling around is a frequent occurrence these days.

Alessandra likes sitting and standing on Daddy's tummy.  She usually coos at him and they make faces at each other.

Alessandra wants to walk like the big kids.  She knows she has to put one foot in front of the other but isn't stable yet.

For months, Alessandra has been laying in her gym daily (thanks to our friends SarMar) but she recently decided she prefers sitting or standing at her gym.

As I said in a previous post, I really enjoy what I do for a living so I'm not about to be a stay at home mom - but I absolutely look forward to vacation and making time for the important people in my life.  Now that Alessandra has entered my life, I just wish every day had a couple more hours so I could spend more time with her.  So many things came up that tried to get in the way, but I needed this past week with her. She is my absolute joy & I feel so blessed to be her Mama. Although I would like to take all the credit for the amazing little lady that she is, so much of the pace at which Alessandra learns and the wonderful joy she is to be around is just because of her innate personality.  She is my wonderful little blessing & I try to cherish every moment with her.

Mom Body

Two people commented this week about how I've lost all the pregnancy weight.  The crazy thing about it is, I'm not in a big rush to lose it all.  I gained 45 lbs total during the pregnancy!  I lost 26 lbs of that within 10 days of delivering Alessandra - it's impossible to lose weight that quickly so that wasn't really "gained weight" so much as baby, her habitat, and other retained water/swelling. Once that was off, it's been a slow decline from 19 lbs above pre-pregnancy weight to my current 8 lbs above pre-pregnancy weight.  I've been getting back into exercise and I've been eating better - with some indulgences with the reasoning that I am breastfeeding.  But now that I've experienced what my body is capable of I just don't see it the same way as I did before Alessandra.  I've never been one to focus on objectifying myself and I've never sought too much attention or focus on my appearance but I am definitely guilty of focusing on carving out "perfection" in my body.  I've set goals to reach a certain weight, a certain body fat percentage, and even a certain appearance - come on ABS!

Now I know how much of a beating my body can take and that it can bring forth the most amazing person in the world.

Pregnancy is a beast.  Childbirth is excruciating.  Nursing is exhausting.  I realize that people's experience can differ but I was not a "glower".  I was a miserable pregnant lady and it's been a slow recovery since I gave birth.  It took about 11 weeks before I really felt like myself again.

Timeline:
Trying to conceive - thankfully this period didn't last too long for us.  I only underwent one minor medical procedure to help the process along.  The biggest change was that I had to tone down my workouts immensely.  Taking the workouts way down and increasing my food intake made me gain a little weight but I still felt great.

The first trimester - nausea-ville, oh, and, sleepy-ville.  Every bit of joy that I previously got out of eating was gone.  I would eat to ensure that baby was nourished but good grief.  Most of the day I was trying to think about something else other than how ill and how tired I felt.  I was so tired it was unreal.  I would just fall asleep anywhere.  I even fell asleep in the middle of a huge family gathering up in Wisconsin.  It didn't matter.  I napped in anybody's house.  I napped in family's houses, in friends' houses, anywhere I could be still for 10+ minutes.  Putting in my hours at work took all my energy and there was just nothing left when I got home. Nausea and sleeping - day after day.

The second trimester - a welcome reprieve.  I had a little bit of my energy back and I got to where I could eat a variety of foods again.  I no longer had to eat bread, crackers & pizza to avoid nausea - I could eat protein and fruit without feeling ill or having indigestion.  I continued going for walks and lifting light weights for exercise.

The third trimester - Lord help me.  The third trimester I was a miserable person to be around.  I gained 27 lbs in the third trimester!  I hated being asked how I was doing.  Can't you tell just from looking at me?!  I look awful! I feel awful! It's all awful and this was a mistake and I hate everything. It wasn't the weight that made me feel awful - just the general toll that pregnancy takes on the body.
-I barely slept.  I'd wake up so many times during the night to use the restroom, because of heartburn, or because I was just plain uncomfortable.  I slept more after Alessandra was born than I did during the third trimester.
-Everything hurt.  My hips, my back, pain shot down my legs.  Laying down hurt.  Getting up hurt. Hurt hurt hurt.
-I hated looking at myself in the mirror because I was so puffy.  I retained water like crazy. I would look at my feet and my hands and they looked like rubber gloves that had been overfilled with water.  I bought bigger and wider shoes and would still have imprints from the shoes pressed into my feet at the end of the day.
-Laying down I'd get acid reflux, numb areas on my body, or felt like I couldn't breathe.
-I could barely walk.  When I heard the annual work trip was to the Dallas World Aquarium I immediately said I'd rather go to work that day.  Anything sounded better than being on my feet.
-Gosh it was hot too.  It was always so hot.  Stinky gross hot.  Ryan was always freezing in our house but I still felt hot.

The fourth trimester - yes this is real.  So many ups and downs.  My body was not immediately back to normal just because Alessandra arrived.  My hormones were all over the place so I'd cry and cry and cry over just about anything.  Ryan got to where he could sense the tears coming and he'd rush over and start comforting me before the first tear even fell.  Healing was so slow.  Without going into too much detail - an ENTIRE HUMAN came out of my body.  She weighed 8 lbs 6 oz.  I needed the full seven weeks of maternity leave just to be able to sit comfortably again.  It took closer to eleven weeks to feel "normal" again. Even now, certain things are just off.  If I make any kind of jerky movement my joints ache for a day. Breastfeeding isn't nearly as enjoyable as all the smiling beautiful pictures we're sold make it seem.  It's uncomfortable, it's messy-especially at first, and it is so demanding finding the time and energy to pump milk now that I'm back at work.  I know it's good for Alessandra so I do it.

I have so much more respect and appreciation for the human body than I did before pregnancy.  I have such a more positive focus on my body now that I've experienced all of that.  As soon as Alessandra was born I was like - wow - I spent the last 9 months making that perfect little being.  She's incredible and beautiful and strong.  Now that she's here, it still blows my mind that I keep her alive.  My body is what kept her alive while she was knit together and it keeps her alive now.  That just blows my mind.

I can really appreciate feeling good now that I've felt awful.  I can appreciate what my body can do and how well it can perform now that it's been through a long period of limitations.  I appreciate how my body looks now that I've worn it without even being able to recognize it as my own.
There's no part of my body that I'm embarrassed about.  I don't hate the stretch marks.  I don't mind that I wear clothes a size or two larger than before.  It's ok that I smell of milk.  It's all fine.

I made this amazing little person and she couldn't be healthier.  She couldn't be more perfect.  I will never hate my body again.

3 Months

Time has flown by. In some ways the days feel endless and like they all run together but trying to savor every moment means that all the busyness happens at such a fast pace.

Even though she is only three months old, I really feel like Alessandra's temperament and personality are already established and expressed on a daily basis.  Lucky for me, she is a very lovable wonderful little person!

For her daytime Halloween costume, Alessandra dressed as Baby Flo.

She sleeps well.  She's slept stretches of up to 4 hours since she was just a couple of weeks old.  Recently her sleep stretches at least 5 hours on a consistent basis and up to 7 or even 9 hours on occasion.

My sweet little sleeper.

She fusses little.  If Alessandra fusses I can almost guarantee she needs food, a nap, or a diaper change. I hear about purple crying, the "witching hour", etc. but Alessandra really doesn't give us any trouble unless she wants something very basic and her fussiness is very easily resolved.

She's easy to please.  For fun: Almost any new toy or new activity we introduced is fascinating and holds her attention for a long period of time. For necessities: Alessandra doesn't fuss about who gives her a bottle, what's in the bottle (we use formula on occasion), whether her bottle is straight out of the fridge or warm, etc. Alessandra will fall asleep in a variety of places in almost anyone's care.  She can sleep in her crib, in her swing, in my arms. I didn't realize how picky other children were about these kinds of things until now that I'm surrounded by other new parents.

She's social.  Alessandra is quick with a smile.  She allows anyone to carry her, isn't afraid of anyone, and loves to coo and smile at new people.  She can interact with anyone from a very calm soothing grandpa to an energetic 2 year old cousin and she is just as happy.

She enjoys being loved on by Grandpa Hernandez and cousin Isabella.

So many smiles.

She's determined.  It's amazing how I can show her how to do something and she will just keep trying until she can do it herself.  She doesn't lose interest easily, she remains very focused, and she does not give up until she does what she sets out to do.  It is so rewarding to help her learn new things.

I love so many things about her!  My precious girl brings me so much joy! It's worth all the work and exhaustion to get to share in this love relationship with this wonderful little person.