Little Lady

Alessandra is always in such a hurry to grow up.  She hit so many milestones ahead of schedule.  She's always been at the top of the growth charts.  I'm frequently left wondering - How did we get to this point so quickly?!  Where is my tiny baby girl?!

The next big milestone is on the horizon and I'm having trouble getting ready for it.

Alessandra is going to go to school/daycare.

I know Alessandra is ready for school.  She has been on a schedule since she was a couple of months old so falling into a school-day routine should be easy.  She greatly enjoys playing with other children so I'm sure she will enjoy having other kids her age to play with.  She loves music and I'm certain she will love singing Spanish songs and playing new instruments.

So what's the big deal?  Why do I have so much anxiety about this situation?

Put simply, I'm afraid of giving up control.  I like things just so.

I've been able to go to work without any issues for the past year and a half because I knew the kind of care that Alessandra was receiving every day.  Everyone who has watched Alessandra gave her foods that I approved of (with a few fun exceptions), made sure that Alessandra slept as much as I recommended, and took Alessandra to places that I approved of.  I felt like even though I was physically absent, my influence and my protectiveness over her still reached her through different people.

Simply put, the next phase involves less of me. Someone else came up with the curriculum.  Someone else came up with the schedule. Someone else decided how long she will nap and what food will be served at snack time.  So much less of what happens in her daily life will be up to me.

On some level I completely comprehend that other people can do a fine job helping to raise Alessandra even if their way of doing things is not much like mine.  I can be objective and know that she is receiving good care even though I didn't plan the specific day-to-day details of that care.  My mama heart just doesn't like letting go.

It is good for her to become more independent.  It is good for her to be around other children.  It is good for her to face new challenges and to have to adapt to a new environment.

I need to thank God for each day that has passed and believe and hope for the best in all the days to come.



POOL TIME!!!

Splashing around with Daddy!

The water from the fountain was so warm.

The beautiful eyes that melt my heart.