Every day I have something meaningful and important to be dedicated to, to improve for, to be thankful for.
It's been easy for me to go to God with my needs for so long now. I need a better job. I need to be close to my family again. I need to survive law school. I have sought him for comfort, care, peace for so many years.
Is that all He wants from us? Should our conversations with God center around asking for more, more, and more of what we think we need?
I pray differently now that I realize what's precious. My pastor set out a means to pray that really makes sense to me.
ACTS
Adoration: seeing a glimpse of Him in His majesty
Confession: being self-aware of my struggles, shortcomings, and areas needing improvement
Thanksgiving: for every moment, for every opportunity, for one more day that I get to be a mom
Supplication: coming full circle from realizing God's goodness, seeing where I need more of Him, seeing where He needs more from me, and asking that His will be done
It's clearer now - how to go to God with that heart, with that mindset, filled with the gift of perspective for all that He has given me, all that He is, and all that He has in store for me.
Thursday, January 21, 2016
Sunday, January 3, 2016
Two Beings, One Body
I carried her for forty weeks.
In that time I became twice the woman I was before.
Before, I lived for me. I angered when someone offended me, I hurt when someone betrayed me, I rejoiced in my own accomplishments, I planned for my own future.
In forty weeks I became two.
Half of my heart lives on as it did before. I seek satisfaction, peace, accomplishment, joy, love.
Half of my heart is her every step, her every breath, her every accomplishment. I didn't just create her during that time. Yes, her cells divided and multiplied. I too divided and multiplied. Every fiber of my being went from being wholly mine to being wholly hers as well. I'd do anything for her. I'd risk anything for her.
I live on as before.
A whole new me lives on too. A whole me that knows nothing but devote to her. She is satisfaction. She is peace. She is accomplishment. She is joy. She is love. She is my wonderful everything but I remain whole for her.
She'll grow up. She'll need me less. God willing, she will become two one day.
I'll always be here. Whole. Everything I was before she arrived. And so much more.
In that time I became twice the woman I was before.
Before, I lived for me. I angered when someone offended me, I hurt when someone betrayed me, I rejoiced in my own accomplishments, I planned for my own future.
In forty weeks I became two.
Half of my heart lives on as it did before. I seek satisfaction, peace, accomplishment, joy, love.
Half of my heart is her every step, her every breath, her every accomplishment. I didn't just create her during that time. Yes, her cells divided and multiplied. I too divided and multiplied. Every fiber of my being went from being wholly mine to being wholly hers as well. I'd do anything for her. I'd risk anything for her.
I live on as before.
A whole new me lives on too. A whole me that knows nothing but devote to her. She is satisfaction. She is peace. She is accomplishment. She is joy. She is love. She is my wonderful everything but I remain whole for her.
She'll grow up. She'll need me less. God willing, she will become two one day.
I'll always be here. Whole. Everything I was before she arrived. And so much more.
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