I want what's best for her. On the one hand I take pride in my efforts to be a good Mama, on the other I feel like she is deserving of so much more than my best. No one person has made me feel both so great and so insufficient.
We bring our children into the world and they have their tiny little fingers wrapped around our hearts. Our minds may be racing with 1,000 other thoughts but they are never forgotten and they never lose priority. Their cry makes us spring to our feet. Their toothless smile washes away the troubles of the day. They bring us more joy than any verdict, any sports car, and travel to an unfamiliar country. Life's joys are still present but the pinnacle of joy - the height of love - it overshadows all other joys.
What wouldn't I give to protect her? What wouldn't I sacrifice to see her succeed? She has taught me so much about myself, about priorities, about what a blessing Ryan is to my life. She is my daily lesson.
How can a parent look at their child and watch them suffer. How can a parent suppress that overwhelming desire to protect. How did my Jesus live 33 years on this earth - ridiculed, exiled, persecuted, his loved ones imprisoned and killed. How did Mary watch as men broke the body of the perfect Son that she birthed into the world. How is it that he had to utter "Abba Father" and yet the Lord didn't take the cup from Him.
Our God's love and mercy is incomprehensible. What He did for us is incomprehensible.
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